It’s not “gay” to… like reality TV

Construction sites can be macho places, filled with tough jobs that require tough people to do them. On the job site, the hours are long, the labor can be backbreaking, and the risk of death or injury is never too far away. Construction workers are expected to match this environment: strong, stoic, masculine. 

As you might expect, this means that conversations around the portapotty usually involve macho topics, like one dude bragging about last night’s drunken exploits while another gives a play-by-play of the big game. Obviously, you’re into that stuff, too, but if you were being 100% honest with yourself, you’d admit that as your buddies dissect the team’s Superbowl chances, a not-so-small part of you wishes you could be analyzing last night’s ever-so-juicy episode of Too Hot to Handle instead. 

Obviously, you’re not actually into these kinds of shows, with their slick graphics, fake drama, and cringey canned music. Reality TV is for chicks! Who cares if Captain Kerry manages to get his crew under control on the latest season of Below the Deck? (I mean, clearly it does matter, it’s a multi-million dollar yacht, and they need to keep those charter guests happy! Plus, even you—a casual, disinterested, very occasional viewer—can see that although Barbie has way too much attitude, Fraser was acting totally out of line. He’s the Chief Steward, for God’s sake!)

You’d never actually admit to catching the odd episode of Big Brother or being sucked into the dark family dynamics of Real Housewives of New Jersey, because you feel like watching reality TV has always seemed just a little…“gay,” you know? 

No, not wrestling—that isn’t reality TV. Sure, it might have the same slick graphics and fake drama and slightly cringey music, but the wrestling was all real! And shows like Alone don’t count either because they’re about men doing manly things, unlike that other kind of reality television where all the men are just…bartending in LA’s hottest restaurants or piloting megayachts or trying to land the hottest girl on the island. That’s not what real men do. 

—Wait.  

Look, bud, it’s time to drop the act. Aren’t you just a little bit tired of pretending that you don’t know what Scandoval is, or which couple raised eyebrows with an unexpected match on Love Island? Wouldn’t you like to sit beside your girlfriend and watch the show with her, instead of lurking in doorways and inventing reasons to walk by so you can catch a glimpse of the latest episode without raising suspicions?

You can relax. It isn’t “gay” to watch reality TV. It’s a guilty pleasure shared by millions, including more men than you’d think. And if you really are so tough, then why the hell would you become any less manly by watching the divine masterpiece that is RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars instead of yet another Marvel movie starring a bunch of guys in tight spandex suits, abs rippling, grappling with each other while trading witty remarks? 

Exactly. Masculinity isn’t based on what you eat, watch, listen to, or wear. It is what you make it. If you’re a man watching reality TV, then watching reality TV is a manly thing to do. Because you’re doing it

So let go of the shame, grab some popcorn, and wear your reality TV obsession with pride. (And don’t forget to mark your calendars, Season 3 of the Emmy-award-winning The Traitors is expected to drop in early 2025.)

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