Having a tough day at work is one thing, but when a toxic coworker comes along, it can make things feel nearly unbearable. However, you don’t have to put up with gaslighters and micromanagers on-site. There are strategies that can help you deal with toxic coworkers when you feel the need to protect your mental health. 

In this article, we’re going to cover how to handle toxic co-workers and the best strategies you can use to protect your mental health so you can feel better about getting back to work. 

What toxic behavior looks like at work

You might already know how it feels to have another colleague kill the vibe. But how and why does toxic behavior happen at work? Toxic colleagues are often stalled or unhappy with their own career progression, performance, pay, or position. These feelings of dissatisfaction fester to a point of deep resentment at their job, and eventually overflows into collaboration.

Common signs of a toxic coworker

While there’s no definitive “toxic colleague handbook,” there are a few surefire signs that lead to that conclusion. You might have a toxic coworker on your hands if: 

• They constantly gossip around the office 
• They always have something negative to say
• Your communication from them feels passive-aggressive 
• They take credit for other colleagues’ work
• They attempt to gaslight or emotionally manipulate you
• They overstep their role or micromanage you 

If interacting with this coworker makes you feel bad or anxious, they’re likely being toxic. If it’s not someone you can outright avoid, there are ways to at least make things better in the short term. 

How a toxic coworker impacts your mental health

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Toxic coworkers often start as mild annoyances, but they can often escalate into affecting your mental health. The persistent negativity, especially if you have to work closely with this person, can lead to increased stress, anxiety, burnout, and even depression.

There’s an air of conflict around a toxic coworker, and a lack of support or resources can wear down your self-esteem, making you feel overwhelmed or lonely in your role. Persistent stress and anxiety over a toxic coworker can further manifest into physical symptoms like digestive upset, fatigue, and sleep problems. 

How to manage interactions with toxic coworkers

The last thing you’d want to do is escalate someone’s toxic behavior. Here’s how to respond to toxic coworkers calmly, protect your mental health, and enjoy your days on the job again. 

Set and communicate boundaries

Setting clear boundaries is key to optimal work-life balance. During your breaks, when clocked out, and over the weekends, tell your colleagues you are unplugging and decompressing. If you receive emails or communication from toxic colleagues during your off time, avoid responding unless it’s something critical. 

Instead, set aside time at the beginning of your shift to catch up on communications. Your work isn’t going anywhere, and setting these boundaries means you’re taking meaningful time to rest and not letting toxic behavior seep into your personal life. 

Stay calm and avoid emotional reactions

Being around toxicity wears on your energy. Bracing yourself for a new fight puts you on edge, so in the event a confrontation happens, you might be inclined to lead with your emotions. 

Try instead to limit your interactions with toxic colleagues as much as possible. If you are approached and sense a fight bubbling up, remember to stop, take a breath, and keep things brief and professional. Don’t dwell on any snide comments; focus on yourself and take the high road. 

Keep conversations task-focused

When toxic coworkers drive conversations off the rails, it can be difficult not to fight back and escalate. Keep in mind that you can’t control every person’s attitude and actions, especially if they’re your superior. 

Try your best to keep your conversations task-focused. Keep responses to other topics of conversation brief, and if all else fails, you can outright say you’d like to stay focused on work-related issues. They might find this tactic curt, but it’s better to be curt and professional than to be anxious about a toxic confrontation. 

Lean on supportive people

If a toxic environment persists, you may feel like you’re the one at fault. Hopefully, in these situations, you have peers and supportive colleagues to counteract the toxic coworker and reassure you. 

Whatever you do though, don’t suffer in silence. 

If you’re not quite sure you want to go to management yet, a colleague you can trust is a great first step. Try saying you’re feeling overwhelmed or isolated in your duties. You might be surprised to find out that other colleagues feel similarly, or have similar issues with the toxic colleague you’re struggling with. 

Document patterns and behavior

Documenting the behavior of a toxic colleague seems like a lot of unnecessary work. In reality, it could spare you from an HR nightmare later down the road. Here’s what proper documentation can do to help you at work. 

• It protects you from retaliation: If you’re worried about the toxic coworker fighting against your claims, proper documentation will help you stand your ground. 
• It builds a strong case with management: A clear timeline of events and remarks demonstrates that the toxicity isn’t an isolated incident. This pattern helps leaders take action and fix the situation. 
• It could protect you legally: In more extreme cases like discrimination, harassment, and other harmful behavior, documentation can help you take legal action or make a formal complaint. 

Remember to record the time, location, relevance, and any relevant quotes exchanged. If anything happens via text, group chat, or email, even better. Keep everything written in case you need it later.

Know when to involve your manager or HR

You might not want to hear it, but the sooner, the better. Toxic coworkers should be reported to a manager as soon as possible so that it can be addressed promptly. The only exception, however, is if the toxicity involves discrimination, a threat, or harassment. Or if your manager is the toxic party. 

In these cases, go right to HR. They are there to address issues that impact workers, and a great HR keeps equity and positivity top of mind. Bring any documented evidence you have, and be prepared to have repeated conversations. 

When it’s time to move on

If all else fails, sometimes it’s best to move on from that role or company. Job hunting is no fun, but putting in the effort to find a new opportunity means finally leaving that toxic culture and feeling better in the long run. 

Before you go, express to your boss that it wasn’t personal. Don’t burn any bridges, as you may still need a letter of recommendation. Be honest, professional, and wish your former company all the best. Having these tricky conversations is tough, but it’s also your ticket to a far healthier opportunity. 

Signs it’s time to go

Here’s how you know it might be time to pack it up at work. 

• You feel persistent dread before clocking in every day
• The toxic culture is impacting your health and personal relationships
• You’ve exhausted all of your resources and options
• Leadership is failing to take you seriously or act
• There are few to no mental health resources available

If you’re considering leaving and thinking about how nice it would be to explore a different path, it might be time to do just that. 

Final thoughts

You come to work to be productive, make an impact, and earn a living. Accomplishing that in a healthy way is made difficult when coworkers are exhibiting toxic behavior. Micromanagers, gossipers, and passive aggressiveness mean you could have a persistent problem on your hands. 

But by setting boundaries, leaning on your workplace support system, and going to management when the time is right, you might find you’re relieved of your dread. You deserve to enjoy your 9-5 again. 

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