When I started in the industry 27 years ago (1998, to be exact), it was a bit different than it is now. We all had flip phones or Blackberry’s, we still regularly used fax machines, you printed off multiple copies of drawings for contractors to pick up to bid on a job, we dropped bid packages off in person (and hoped that there was no traffic or that you could get a parking spot), you had to print and then scan photos to include them in reports, site reports were written on carbon copy paper, and all meetings were in person. 

There have been many, many changes in our industry since that time.

As a woman in the industry, things were also different back then. I would go to a conference of 300+ people and could count the women in attendance on 2 hands, I would walk onto a site, and ‘if’ there was another woman on site, I would get the ‘Hey, you should meet Amy, you would get along,’ or I would walk up the scaffolding and feel holes being burned in my ass from the eyeballs staring at me, and I would also have the wonderful site superintendent giving me guidance on what to look for or answering my questions as if I was his surrogate daughter on the site.   

And then there was the culture, the very male machismo culture, that pervaded the industry. As a woman and a minority in the workforce, the coping mechanism was to either subtly work to create awareness and little by little make changes or give up and change who you were in an attempt to be one of the guys.

I tried very hard at the beginning to fit in and be one of the guys, even to the point of stating that if they were going to the strip club on Friday afternoon at lunch or the after-conference party with clients, then they needed to ensure I was invited.  I never got an invitation, and though I tried to convince myself that I was one of them and wanted to go, I really didn’t.  After saying it a few times and getting the awkward silence as they pondered about how uncomfortable they would feel if I did attend, it was never suggested again…at least in my presence.

My favourite story, which is not mine but I have permission to share, is from an amazing friend and former colleague. She was a Senior Construction Manager at a general contracting company and was on-site one day to check on the progress of work. She walked into the site office and was greeted by a ‘nude lady’ calendar. As one of the most senior women on site, I would have felt the need to yell and let the site super know how inappropriate this was ‘in this day and age,’ of which I would forever be labeled an uptight b&%$h.  

Instead, her response was brilliant.  

The next time she came to the site, she went to the site office and put up her own ‘nude gentleman’ calendar to compliment the original ‘nude lady’ decor.  The site super in horror said, ‘What are you doing? You can’t put that up there.’ To which she replied, ‘If you get one, I get one.’  Well, I can’t imagine that either calendar stayed up much longer than the next trade toolbox meeting 😊.

The reality of being a woman in the construction industry

Then there was the work and how I had to be at work, or should I be more clear, what I had to accept in order to be at work. 

• I stopped counting the number of times that I was assumed to be the admin assistant in a meeting, even when I was the most senior person at the meeting, or the number of clients that needed a second (male) opinion to validate my recommendations.

• I had to hide my frustration that any guy, no matter how inexperienced, gained automatic respect when he walked in a room or onto site, while I had to spend countless hours building my credibility.

• And I had to bite my tongue while being given advice to be a bit tougher with the consultants or contractors, as that was “how you got respect”.  Because I knew (from hard learned experience) that approach delivered by a woman afforded you the moniker of b&%$h, while your male counterparts were seen as confident and taking control. 

• And when all of that became a little too overwhelming, the women’s washroom was the place where you went to cry, as emotion was not an acceptable response, and you couldn’t explain what you were going through to your boss. 

These stories describe the daily reminders to women that they were visitors in the construction industry, not citizens.

And I can say that most guys when they read these stories, will not read them how a woman reads them.  They will not really understand how it makes a woman feel when they are experiencing them.

So here is my translation for you:

• 10 out of 300 at a conference – I’m an outsider.
• Eyeballs on ass – I’m an object, or I’m at risk.
• Site Super’s surrogate daughter – Aw, that’s cute, but I’m not an equal.
• Strip clubs after client parties – How will I ever get ahead?
• Nude lady calendars – Will they ever respect me?
• Admin assistant / second guessed / etc. – Will I ever be seen as an equal, and can I succeed in this industry?
• Crying in the bathroom – I’m alone.

What’s changed and what hasn’t

Most of my career has been in the 21st century, so we were well beyond the days of ‘Mad Men’ when I started in the industry.  So really a lot of that stuff I had to deal with should have been a thing of the past before I even started.

And you may think that I talk about these things and can say, ‘Thank goodness those days are over,’ or that I can say that it was how things were back then.

Well, though the more overt things like ‘nude lady’ calendars are not as common in the site office, the industry is still not a comfortable or easy place for the women who make up 10% of the workforce.

I still look around the room at times and realize I am the only woman in a meeting of 15 men.

And it is very clear that it hasn’t changed in the ranks of executive leadership, where very few women make it. And even when they do, they face the same challenges all over again.

Within the last five years, I have also had to remove myself from leading a project because the client was so misogynistic that I could do nothing to support him, and my mental health was suffering from the constant barrage of comments questioning my capability. Now, before you say, ‘Good for you for taking yourself out of a bad situation,’.  I challenge that the better response would have been for those working with me and around me to stand up for me, as a competent experienced professional, and call out the bad behavior of the client.  Instead, me leaving the project just reinforced the client’s belief that I wasn’t capable.

And then there are the women that have followed me in the industry.

I recently had a woman, who is ten years into her career, asking for my advice. She said that when she is in meetings with male colleagues, she notices that they are listened to and respected immediately, and she is either ignored or not heard. That it takes her multiple interactions with people to get the same level of respect that those male colleagues get just for entering the room. And she asked me how I managed in those situations. 

My response:

• Well immediately my heart hurt, because I knew exactly how that feels as I have experienced it many times,
• Then I felt sad that nothing has changed,
• Then I was angry and annoyed that she was having to go through the same pain and disrespect I did, 
• Then I was mad at myself when I realized I didn’t have a good answer to help her because over the years I had just learned to accept it as something that happened and that I just picked myself up and pushed through it. 

And when I got through the initial WTF moment, I stopped and tried to think of what strategies I had used to help myself or that others have done to help me.  Unfortunately, my only real answer was to find allies to help you when you are in the room, people that were willing to take the personal risk to speak up for you.

​​The takeaway

I am not saying that things haven’t changed. We are moving the needle in the right direction, and I am excited to see the efforts of many great leaders to change the industry. There are so many more amazing women joining the construction industry and seeing it as a career.  But…..we still have a long way to go to make the industry more inclusive for everyone.

For my female counterparts, I write this so that we continue talking about how hard it still is.

And for my male counterparts that have taken the risk to support your female colleagues and are supporting the changes that are happening in the industry, Thank You. 

But to those who have stuck with the Good Ol’ Days, especially those from younger generations who know better but are happy to follow the crowd, we have already shown ourselves to be competent and capable. 

We no longer need to prove ourselves. We are no longer visitors.  

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